Friends Season 12
by capitolpress
Summary: Here is a continuation of my Friends Season 11! "The One with the Baby and a Sponge Bath" is now up!  Stay tuned for "The One with the Bachelor Party". R&R! Executive Producer: CapitolPress Co-Procucer: Boris Yeltsin. Rated T for suggestive themes.
1. The One with More Friends

The One with More Friends

Scene opens with Joey waking up in his apartment.

Joey walks out of his room to find a teenager sleeping on the couch.

Joey: Whoa!

Kid: What?

Joey: Get out! You don't live here.

Kid: But it's me, Mr. Trib, Johnny, your daughter's boyfriend. You said I could crash here last night.

Joey: I don't have a daughter. Get out!

The Johnny rushes out.

A girl rushes out from Chandler's old room.

Joey: Not another one!

Girl: What are you talking about? It's me, Trisha, your daughter.

Joey: What?

Opening Theme(Opening theme includes not the usual gang, but everyone's kids instead only 20 years older.)

Scene opens at Joey's apartment. Trisha is comforting Joey, who's in shock.

Joey: Who's your mother?

Trisha: Don't you remember? Nicole. She died in after an explosion right after she had me.

Joey: So I'm really your dad?

Trisha: Well not really. You should know this story. Anyway, when she died, the state took custody of me and discovered that my father had died. You chose to adopt me. Here we are now.

Joey starts hyperventilating.

Trisha: Dad, are you alright?

Joey passes out.

Scene closes and opens at Central Perk. Emma, Jack, Erika, Monica, Chandler, and Ross are all sitting around.(all the adults and kids look 20 years older)

Joey walks in.

Joey screams when he sees Emma, Jack, and Erika.

Ross: What's wrong Joe?

Joey: I've just had a weird day so far.

Monica: Yeah, Trisha called and said you might need to see us today, so we drove out here.

Joey: So where's Rach?

Ross: Oh, she's in France for a fashion expo. She's starting to design her 50th line of clothing for her company.

Joey: Oh, I'm sorry things didn't work out.

Ross: What are you talking about? We're married.

Ross holds up his finger with the ring on it.

Ross: She owns her own company here in the city. We have a huge house near Mon and Chans.

Joey: That's great.

Emma: So, Uncle Joey, what do you want to do today?

Joey: I don't know, go to a game at the Garden, I guess.

Everyone laughs.

Monica: Wait, are you serious?

Joey nods.

Chandler: I thought I was the funny one.

Joey: What do you mean?

Jack: Man, don't you remember? About four years back they made the Garden into a storage unit for the HoverDome.

Joey: What?

Erika: Man, you are out of it. The hovering dome over the Empire State Building. That's where the concerts and games are being held now.

Ross: Joey, you know all this stuff. You may still not know much, but you do keep up with current events like how the coffee shop is being turned into a hoverboard rental shop.

Joey gasps.

Ross: You really don't seem to feel good.

Joey: I just feel like I just got 20 years older.

Scene closes and opens at Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe is talking to her son Roland.

Roland: Come on, Mom! I'm nineteen! I can go to a concert by myself.

Phoebe: NO! You know your father told you you couldn't go.

Roland: Dad's not here right now, mom. You got the divorce two months ago, get over it!

Phoebe begins to sob.

Roland: Mom, I didn't mean to upset you.

Phoebe: It's okay, it's just it's been hard these past couple of months especially with you away at college.

Joey walks in.

Roland: I have to go, mom, I'm late for class.

Phoebe: Bye.

Roland's image disappears into a disc on the floor.

Joey: Ahhh!

Phoebe: What?

Joey: Who was that, and how did he get in that disc?

Phoebe: You've known Roland all his life, and you even own a projector disc. Are you okay?

Joey: Yeah…So how are you?

Phoebe: Well I'm doing okay even though the divorce papers final copy arrived today.

Joey: You and Mike got a divorce?

Phoebe: Yeah, Joey, we've been having trouble for five years.

Joey: I need a pizza…we still have that too, right?

Phoebe: Duh,…are you sure you're okay?

Joey: I just really need food.

Phoebe dials her phone and orders a pepperoni pizza.

Thirty minutes later.

The pizza guy swipes Phoebe's debit card on a card scanner.

Phoebe takes a tiny bag.

Phoebe removes a pizza the size of a quarter.

Joey: What?!

Phoebe: Keep your pants on, I'm just going to put it in the hydrator.

Phoebe inserts the pizza into a microwave type machine.

The machine beeps and phoebe takes out a full size pizza.

Joey: Yes!

Joey runs to the pizza.

Scene closes and opens at the HoverDome. Joey, Ross, and Chandler are sitting in the bleachers watching a hover hockey game and eating dome shaped pretzels.

Ross: Okay now, Joe?

Joey: Yeah. This game is really good. We should come here again soon.

Chandler: Yeah, we come here all the time. What's with you today?

Joey: Okay, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm from the future.

A long pause.

Ross and Chandler burst out laughing.

Ross: You almost had us there for a minute.

Chandler: We haven't had time machines for a year and a half.

Joey: Why?

Ross: You remember. That one professor's machine got caught in time and he was brought back dead. No one knows what happened to him.

A person comes on the hover dome intercom.

Person: We are sorry for any inconvenience, but we have just been informed that there is a person from the future in our midst.

Ross and Chandler both look at Joey.

Joey's picture comes on the big screen.

People start yelling "get him"!.

Joey begins to run.

Scene closes and opens at Joey's apartment. Joey rushes in.

Trisha is watching the television. A news cast about Joey being from the future is playing.

Trisha shrieks at Joey, still in shock.

Trisha: So this whole time, the reason you couldn't remember anything was because you were from the future?

Joey:…Yeah…

Trisha: We've got to get you back home.

Joey: What?

Trisha: If the Time Police finds you, they'll dissect you and study you for clues on how you got here.

Joey: That is not a good thing.

Trisha: Come on!

Joey and Trisha exit.

Scene closes and a montage of clips of the duo running around Manhattan are played. They finally arrive at Trisha's old high school.

Trisha: Come on. When this building was condemned, they forgot to clean out the time machine room.

The two rush through the building. When they finally arrive at the TM room, they find the Time Police waiting for them. They grab Trisha.

Trisha: Daddy!

TP officer: Okay, son, I know this is all weird, but it'll all be over soon.

An officer grabs Joey and straps him to a table.

TP officer picks up a scalpel.

TP officer: Don't worry, this'll only hurt a lot!

The officers laugh maniacally.

Joey screams and wakes up. He's covered in sweat.

Monica rushes in.

Joey: Thank god! Monica! Where are the Time Police?

Monica: What?

Joey: I was just in the Time machine room…

Joey examines the room.

Joey: What year is it?

Monica: 2006.

Joey sighs a relief.

Monica: Anyway, Rachel's engaged to-

**Previously on **_**Friends**_

Scene opens at the planetarium. Rachel walks through the door.

Ross is holding Emma. Emma is holding a lily. The room is filled with lily petals.

Rachel: Oh…

Emma: Mommy!

Emma squirms out of Ross' arms and rushes to Rachel.

Rachel picks up Emma.

Ross hits a button on a remote and "The Way You Look Tonight" starts to play.

Ross: Surprise.

Rachel: Oh…

Ross: I wanted to do this before you left for Paris. Listen, I know that you love your job, but I love you too. I can't live without you. I really want you to be my bride, not only to stay, but so we can have a real family. If you say yes, I promise that it will not end like my other marriages. If you agree, this will absolutely be my last wedding.

Rachel: Ross, I-

Ross: I will love you 'til the end of time.

Ross gets down on one knee.

Ross: Rachel Green, will you marry me?

A long pause.

Rachel: Ross, there's something I have to tell you…

Ross: Yeah?

Rachel:…Yes!

Ross and Rachel hug.

Emma: Me too!

Ross: Of course you too, honey.

They all continue to hug.

Ross: Does this mean you won't be going to Paris?

Rachel: No, honey, I'm staying right here. I gave Mark my notice an hour ago.

Ross: What?

Rachel: Mark also proposed to me…

Ross begins to cry.

Rachel: It's okay!

Ross begins to laugh.

Ross: YES! I WON!

Ross starts to do a victory dance.

Rachel: There went that mood.

Ross stops.

Ross: I'm sorry, it's just all this time, I felt in competition with Mark and-

Rachel cuts him off with a kiss.

Rachel: Ross, I'm here to stay now.

They continue to kiss. Emma looks away.

Scene fades to black.

**Executive Producer: Capitolpress**

**Co-Producer: Boris Yelstin**

**Author's Note:** If you notice that I said it was '06, but that would be the approx. time since season 11 was an immediate pick up. I hope you guys liked the turnout! See you the 8th for "The One with the Bounty Hunter".

Check back on my Episode guide soon for more updates!


	2. The One with Phoebot X29

"The One with Phoebot X29"

Scene opens at the coffee shop. Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are sitting down. Mike runs in.

Mike: Have you guys seen Phoebe?

Everyone: No

Mike: Well she's gone insane! Her pregnancy hormones are making her weird.

Ross: What's she doing?

Mike: She's running around the city calling herself 'Phoebot X29'

Rachel: What? I didn't know hormones could make you do that kind of stuff.

Ross: Well, let's keep in mind that this is PHOEBE we're talking about.

Everyone: Good point.

Phoebe jumps into the coffee shop.

Phoebe: I am Phoebot X29! Now, off to fight crime!

She leaves.

Mike: I'll drive.

Monica: I'll get sleeping pills.

Chandler: I'll get a taser.

Everyone looks at him.

Chandler: What?

(Opening Credits)

Scene opens in an alleyway. Phoebe is trying to climb a wall.

Phoebe: What is happening to my powers?

Everyone rushes in.

Monica: Phoebe! What're you doing?

Phoebe: Who is this Phoebe you speak of? I'm PHOEBOT X29!

Mike: Please, Phoebe, come home!

Phoebe: I don't know you!

Phoebe runs past everyone, stops a random cab, and jumps in.

Ross: Well, there she goes.

Rachel: This is so weird. I've never heard of something like this coming from hormones.

Chandler: Yes, but let's remember that this is PHOEBE!

Mike: We don't have time for this. Ross, Joey, you go to the doctors office and see if they know a way to calm her down. Rachel and Monica, you go look for her. Chandler and I will look too.

Joey: Great! But do I have time to get a sandwich first?

Mike: Joey!

Joey: Fine!

They all leave. Scene closes then opens at the doctor's office.

Doctor: Well, this is strange.

Ross: But can you help?

Doctor: All I would think to do would be to tie her down until she stops.

Ross: Ugh, okay. Bye.

They start to leave.

Joey: Wait, can I have a lollipop?

Ross: Joey!

Joey: Fine! What does it take for a guy to get some food in this city!

Scene goes to Monica and Rachel. They are at Phoebe's massage parlor, talking to the receptionist.

Receptionist: Sorry, Mrs. Hannigan hasn't been in since she went on maternity leave.

Monica: Thanks anyway.

Rachel: What do we do now?

Monica: Well…

Phoebe jumps in.

Phoebe: Evildoers! Prepare to be foiled!

Rachel: Get her!

Scene goes to Monica, Rachel, and the receptionist all tied to separate massage beds.

Monica: man, she's pretty strong for a pregnant lady.

Scene goes to Mike and Chandler. They walk in to a department store.

Chandler: This is where those people said Phoebe would be.

Mike: Yeah. It can't be too hard to spot a crazy lady here.

Chandler: This is New York! You can run into thirty crazy people walking to the mailbox!

They walk past a mannequin. The mannequin jumps out.

Mike/Chandler: AHHH!

Phoebe: I stopped two evildoers already, now to take on two more!

Scene goes to Chandler and Mike dressed up as mannequins in dresses. They are tied up.

Chandler: This is getting ridiculous.

Scene goes to Joey and Ross again. They are at Central Perk waiting to hear from the others. Phoebe walks in.

Phoebe: Ah. The last of the evildoers.

Ross: Stop it Phoebs! You need to come back home. Mike's worried.

Phoebe: The one who calls himself Mike is no longer an issue.

Joey: You killed him!

Phoebe: No, but he's a little tied up now. Wahahah!

Ross: Seriously, Phoebe, you have too-GUNTHER NOW!

Gunther jumps out and grabs Phoebe.

Phoebe: NO!

Scene goes to everyone tied up in Mike and Phoebe's apartment, including Gunther and the receptionist.

Ross: How did this happen?

Chandler: I know! She's pretty strong. But you know, I didn't try my hardest, because I didn't want to hurt her.

Everyone: Right.

Chandler: Hey!

Phoebe walks in.

Phoebe: So, evildoers. Ready to give up crime?

Mike: Phoebe, let us go!

Phoebe: No! Not until you pay!

Mike: For what?

Phoebe: For not caring!

Everyone pauses.

Ross: What do you mean?

Phoebe: Well, ever since you and Rachel got engaged, everyone's been fussing only over you two. I'M the one who's pregnant!

Monica: Phoebe, you can't expect us to just only care about you.

Phoebe: Well, you even got MIKE to care less about me. I mean, I'm having cravings and when I ask for things all I hear is "Phoebe, not now, we're picking out flowers" or "Phoebe, not now, we're writing Ross' vows for him."

Everyone looks at Ross.

Ross: Uh…CHANDLER MADE ME DO IT!

Ross struggles to get up, but falls over.

Rachel: Well, Phoebe, it's our time too.

Phoebe: But none of you understand what it's like! I can't drink, I can't sleep on my stomach, I can't go mountain climbing!

Monica: But you've never gone mountain climbing.

Phoebe: But that doesn't mean I don't want too!

Mike: Sweety, if you untie me, I'll get you watever you want.

Phoebe: Good…CAUSE ALL I WANT IS SOME FRICKIN ICE CREAM!

Scene goes to everyone standing in the apartment, now untied. Phoebe is sitting on the couch eating icecream.

Phoebe: Thanks. I feel better. Now, Gunther, I'm sorry for getting you into this.

Gunther starts to cry and runs away.

Phoebe: And Charice, I'll see you at work in a few months.

Receptionist: Whatevs.

Charice leaves.

Phoebe: Well, that was fun. Someone get me so pickles, or I'll go Phoebot on you.

Everyone laughs.

Phoebe: I'M SERIOUS!

Everyone rushes to the kitchen to get pickles.

Joey: Sheesh, and I thought I got angry when I wanted food.

END CREDITS

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Well, it wasn't a spectacular comeback, but it was a comeback. I just wasn't feeling this episode, but I didn't want to disappoint, so I wrote it up and here you go. I'm more excited about the next episode, "The One where they're Locked In". I plan on writing it soon, but look for it to be up in about two weeks. It may be sooner. It's good to be back!

TTYL,

Capitolpress


	3. New Announcement!

New Announcement!

My new website is up!

My new original series

"Permanent December"

Will air on this website!

The pilot will be up tomorrow!

If you check it out, keep in mind, it was only started today, so it's a work in progress. Thanks for being fans!

TTYL,

Capitolpress


	4. The One with the Baby and a Sponge Bath

The One with the Baby and the Sponge Bath

Opening Credits

Scene opens at Central Perk. Everyone is sitting around discussing their Valentine's day plans. Chandler and Rachel are absent.

Monica: So, what's everyone doing for Valentine's day tonight?

Ross: Well, Rachel and I decided not to go all out this year so we're going to just go to dinner then go back to my apartment for the evening and-

Joey: Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow!

Ross: -watch the movie Valentine's Day, Joey, watch a movie.

Joey: Riiiiiiiiiiiight. "Watch a movie". Heh-heh,...Movie.

Ross: Whatever. So what are you doing this year, Joe.

Joey: Well...Nothing.

Everyone gasps.

Phoebe: How? Don't you have, like, every girl in New York on speed dial?

Joey: Yeah! But they all said they don't want to have anything to do with me, because I'm apparently 'a big fat jerk who never calls back'.

Monica: That's too bad. Well, what're you and Mike doing Pheebs?

Phoebe: Well, we're going to the restaurant where we first met, then going to a hotel for the night.

Monica: Great! Well, I don't know what Chandler has planned, but I know it's going to be romantic!

Scene rushes to Chandler, who is standing in an empty flower shop.

Chandler: What do you mean you don't have any roses left?

Clerk: Look, you're the moron who chose to try and get a rose an hour before six on VALENTINE'S DAY!

Chandler: Well, do you have ANY flowers left?

Clerk: I have twelve dozen dandelions in the back.

Chandler: Ugh, fine, I'll take 'em.

The Clerk leaves. Chandler dials his phone.

Chandler: Hi, do you have any reservations left? No? Do you know any place that DOES have reservations?...Okay, and do the reservations gaurantee that we'll see Chuck E. before he leaves?

Scene goes to Ross and Joey at Ross' apartment. They are drinking beers and watching tv.

Ross: So you really have nothing to do?

Joey: No. I can't believe it either.

Ross: Well, you better think of something quick if you don't want a lonely night.

Joey takes a long pause.

Joey: I got it!

Joey rushes out.

Rachel comes into the living room.

Rachel: What was that?

Ross: Joey just ran out to get a date. I got him to think about it and it apparently paid off.

Rachel: You told Joey to THINK!

Ross:...Oh no...But maybe it won't be so bad...

Rachel: How long have you known Joey?

Ross: Good point, let's go.

Scene closes and opens at a restaurant. Phoebe and Mike are sitting down eating dinner.

Mike: So, our hotel room will be ready in a couple of hours.

Phoebe: Great!

They chew in silence.

Phoebe: I wanna go now.

Mike: Yeah, but our room isn't ready until-

Phoebe: You know, Central Park is on the way, and there probably isn't anyone at the playground or anythin-

Mike: Let's go.

He jumps up, and pays the waitress. Then he rushes out the door. Phoebe looks confused, but runs out anyway.

Scene goes to Monica and Chandler at Chuck E. Cheese's. They are surrounded by screaming kids.

Monica: So, what're we doing next? Because this is...Fun...

Chandler: ...What do YOU think we should do?

Monica: Well, Phoebe and Mike were going to a hotel...

Chandler: How did you know?

Monica: Really?

Chandler: Yeah!...Excuse me.

Chandler gets up and goes to the back. He pulls out his cell phone and calls someone.

Chandler: Hello, Motel 6, I need a room...you have ONE room left? Great, I'll take it!

Scene goes to Monica and Chandler at the Motel room. It's run down and has mold everywhere. There is also a gaping hole leading to the next room. Chandler has poorly spread his dandelions on the bed.

Monica: You forgot!

Chandler: No, no, I didn't forget, I just...Couldn't remember Valentine's day because I was too busy...Thinking about you!

Monica: Whatever! You made me get dressed up to drive all the way to Long Island for CHUCK E. CHEESE'S, then you take me to a crumby motel room filled with DANDELIONS! Plus, there's a hole in the wall, and that creepy couple is staring at us! (At couple) What? Just go back to...Whatever freaks do!

Scene goes to Ross and Rachel Sitting in Central Perk.

Rachel: So, could YOU find him?

Ross: No. Maybe he's-

Ross' cell phone rings.

Ross: Hello? What? We're on our way!

Ross hangs up.

Rachel: What?

Ross: Joey's in the hospital.

They rush out.

Scene goes to a hospital room. Joey is laying in two arm casts and a leg cast. Ross and Rachel rush in.

Rachel: Joey, are you okay?

A nurse walks in and messes with some charts.

Joey: Oh, it hurts!

The nurse walks out. Joey stops moaning once she's gone.

Joey: Just kidding, I'm fine.

Ross/Rachel: What?

Joey: Yeah! I came up with the perfect plan! I faked this injury, and now a hot nurse will give me a nice sponge bath!

Rachel: Joey, that's horrible, right Ross?

Ross: Yeah!

Once Rachel faces Joey again, he mouths 'good job'!

A nurse comes back in.

Nurse: Joey, ready for your sponge bath?

Joey: I still hurt, but I think I can bare the pain for now.

Nurse: Would you two mind leaving?

Rachel/Ross: Sure.

The two leave.

Nurse: Okay Joey, let's get this started.

The nurse takes Joey's gown. She grabs a bucket and pulls out a sponge.

Nurse: Ready?

Joey: (with fake pained voice) Yeah...

The nurse just about starts when a doctor's voice comes over the intercom.

Doctor: CODE RED! WE NEED ALL FULL-TIME NURSES ON DECK NOW! THERE HAS BEEN A HUGE CAR WRECK!

Nurse: That's me! Sorry Joey.

She starts out. A male nurse steps in.

Nurse: Hey, I have to go down to the E.R., could you take care of this sponge bath for me?

Male Nurse: Sure.

Joey: Ah!

Male Nurse: Now, I know the pain's unbareable, but just grin and bare it.

The male nurse heads towards Joey.

Joey: AAAAAAAAAH!

Scene goes to Phoebe and Mike in a jail cell. Their clothes are tattered and muddy.

Mike: Why didn't you warn me this was indecent exposure!

Phoebe: I assumed you knew! You were a LAWYER after all! And how was I supposed to know that there was a nun convent passing through the park!

Mike: Ugh!

He slams his head against the cell wall.

Scene goes to Monica and Chandler sitting in their motel room. Monica is crying.

Chandler: Sweetie, I didn't mean to make you cry.

Monica: It's not that. I'm allergic to DANDELIONS!

Chandler: Look, let's just go home have a romantic night in. Your mom's watching Jack and Erika 'til morning.

Monica:...Fine...Besides, Mr & Mrs freak have been going at it for about an hour, and they're making me sick.

Chandler looks in through the hole. He shivers.

Scene goes to the next day.

Everyone is sitting in Central Perk.

Monica: So, how was everyone's Valentine's day?

Phoebe: Mike and I owe $500 each for indecent exposure, we have to take mental health classes, and we have to put in 30 hours community service.

Joey: A big hairy guy gave me a sponge bath.

Mike: Nuns screamed at me...then laughed.

Chandler: Well, on the way back to the house, our car broke down. Then it rained. Then when we got gas, we were locked out of the car.

Rachel: Ready, Ross?

Ross: Ready as ever.

Everyone: What?

Rachel:...I'm Pregnant.

End Credits

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

What'd everyone think about the Valentine's day episode? More to come soon. Also, comment about how you think the story will carry out. I replaced "The One where they're Locked In" for this special one. Updates soon!


End file.
